BRITS are losing the equivalent of a full working day every month dealing with divorce admin and correspondence, according to new research, highlighting the growing time demands involved in the process.
A survey of 1,000 people, conducted by leading law firm Mills & Reeve, found that 39% of divorcing couples spend at least eight hours a month managing paperwork, emails and communication.
With the average UK wage at £39,000, losing a working day each month equates to roughly £1,800 a year. And, given that 22% of respondents stated their divorce took more than one year to finalise from application and 19% stated their divorce took more than two years, that figure can soon add up, underlining the hidden financial cost of prolonged divorce proceedings.
Additional findings from the report discovered that 27% of respondents are contacting their ex-partner 4–12 times a month and 10% 16–28 times, while 32% spoke to their solicitor 4–12 times and 10% 16–28 times.
Commenting on the findings, Alison Bull, partner at Mills & Reeve, said: “Divorce is not just an emotional process; it’s also a significant time commitment and very expensive. Many people are managing regular correspondence and calls with their ex-partner and solicitor, which can disrupt their businesses, work, family life and overall wellbeing, and have a significant impact on children.
“The ongoing administrative demands can create additional pressure, affecting daily routines. This makes it harder to focus on children’s needs and other responsibilities, while keeping couples in a prolonged state of limbo which can take its toll during what is already an emotionally charged period. However, couples who opt for a more efficient approach to the process, such as a one lawyer divorce route are often able to reduce the time frame significantly, allowing them to get their lives back on track much quicker and constructive way.”
The one lawyer approach, which Mills & Reeve refers to as Separate Well With One Lawyer, is a collaborative model where one solicitor works with and advises both parties jointly, helping them reach a fair agreement without the need for separate legal representation or a more adversarial process.
While only 8% of respondents used a one lawyer, two clients approach, this model is typically completed in less than six months – considerably faster than the majority of respondents whose divorces took between six months and two years.
Beyond the financial and time burden, prolonged separations can also take a significant emotional toll. As therapist and divorce specialist Stacey Hart DIP MBACP explains:
“As a therapist, I often see how the practical side of divorce – the emails, paperwork and ongoing contact – can quietly keep people emotionally stuck. Each interaction can reopen feelings, making it harder to move forward.
“Many people find themselves in a kind of ‘in-between’ space, where life feels on hold. Over time, this can be exhausting and impact wellbeing more than they expect.
“What really helps is creating some emotional space around the process – whether that’s limiting contact where possible or finding support to process what’s coming up. Divorce isn’t just a legal transition, it’s an emotional one too, and that deserves care and attention.”
The findings also show that financial regret was the most common experience among respondents, with 17% citing it as their biggest regret after their divorce, followed by emotional regret at 13% and managing child arrangements at 7%.
Men were more likely to report emotional regret, including regret over things said in the heat of the moment, while women and those over 50 were more likely to cease contact with their ex-partner, with 44% of women reporting no ongoing communication following their divorce.
Tim Whitney, partner at Mills & Reeve, added: “Beyond the practical challenges, many people look back on the financial and emotional decisions made during their divorce with a sense of regret, which underlines the importance of approaching the process with clarity and careful consideration from the outset.
“Opting for a more collaborative route, such as the one lawyer approach, can help reduce that risk. By working together with shared guidance, couples are often better equipped to make balanced, informed decisions that they are less likely to revisit negatively later on. This not only shortens the process but also supports a more constructive dynamic, helping to ease both the emotional strain and the potential for long-term regret.”
Stacey has also shared some top tips for people who find themselves affected by the emotional toll of divorce:
- Set boundaries with admin: Give it a time and place, rather than letting it take over your day
- Pause before responding: Especially when emotions are high
- Be kind to your energy: This process is tiring, even when things seem “amicable”
- Talk it through: Don’t carry it all on your own
- Focus on small steps forward: Progress often feels slow, but it still counts
To see the full report, visit here.
