- New research from ClearScore finds that just 2 in 5 (40%) couples are splitting bills proportionate to income – with the majority (51%) splitting everything 50/50
- 1 in 6 (17%) Brits say they’ve hidden debts from their partner and 1 in 4 (25%) have hidden purchases, with more than 1 in 5 (22%) people saying they find talking to their partner about money ‘awkward’
- ClearScore share their top tips on discussing finances with your partner this Valentine’s Day
- ClearScore also spoke to real people who share finances with their partner to understand how what works for them
2,455. That’s how many arguments the average couple has each year according to statistics. And topping the list of reasons for fighting is money. In fact, new research from ClearScore can reveal that 1 in 5 (19%) Brits say that they often argue with their partner about money, with another 22% saying they find talking about money with their partner ‘awkward’.
Whether you love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is a great time to reflect on how well you and your partner handle money matters, and how you can improve this for 2024. As such, ClearScore surveyed over 500 people in relationships from across the UK to see how they manage money with their partner, revealing that just 40% of couples are splitting their household bills proportionate to income.
ClearScore’s research also found that more than a quarter (28%) of people in the UK feel their relationship is ‘financially unequal’. This sentiment rises to 30% in those earning less than the national average salary (£34,964 as of April 2023), suggesting lower earners could be struggling with splitting finances 50/50.
What’s more, 1 in 6 (17%) people said they’ve hidden debt from their partner, with this number rising to 1 in 4 (24%) when looking specifically at 25-34 year olds.
The research also found that 1 in 4 (25%) people say that they’ve hidden purchases from their partner.
Interestingly, a whopping half (49%) of 18-24 year olds said that their partner’s finances are worse than their own and that they worry about what that might mean for them, compared to the 20% national average.
Tips on discussing finances with your partner
ClearScore’s research found that most couples (64%) say they talk about money with their partner at least once a week. But, as many as 23% are only speaking to their partner about money 4 times a year. But, 1 in 5 (20%) still say they wish they spoke to their partner about money more often.
Splitting bills can be difficult, especially when one partner earns more than the other. If your earnings aren’t anywhere close to equal, one person may be left a lot worse off than the other, which is why financial equity in relationships may be a better approach for some couples, rather than equality. Interestingly, ClearScore’s research found that the higher earner in a couple is more likely to feel splitting proportionately is fairer than the lower earner (32% vs 29%).
The first step to talking about money and debt is always the hardest, but here are ClearScore’s top tips to see you on your way to discussing your finances with your partner:
- Make it normal
Make money part of your everyday conversations and it will quickly become normal and stress-free. If you put off talking about money until you are faced with a big financial issue, your conversation could become emotionally charged, leading to a breakdown in communication.
If you’ve never talked to your partner about money before, try opening up the conversation by asking your partner whether their family talked about money when they were growing up.
- Go slowly
Talking about everything, from budgeting to how you approach paying off debts, in one go can make the conversation unnecessarily stressful. Don’t try to tackle everything at once or you might feel overwhelmed and be put off talking about money again in the future.
Start off slowly and try talking about things like your credit scores and any small purchases you’re saving up for.
- Work together
To get on the same page with your partner when it comes to managing money, try sharing a joint money or savings goal. Whether it’s a holiday, a car or a deposit for your first home, having a joint goal will make it more normal to discuss managing your finances regularly, and will get you both feeling excited about it.
- Keep going
Once you’ve got used to talking about your finances, setting up a monthly date night to ‘talk money’ is a great way to keep the conversation going. You can use this as a safe space to talk openly in a constructive way.
Take turns to speak and listen to one another, and be ready to compromise. You can draw up a plan together that you can revisit at your next date night. If you can do this monthly, it can help to keep your finances on track, save yourselves money and improve your credit scores.
How do real people split their finances with their partner?
ClearScore spoke to Lottie Hippisley, 30, who splits bills with her partner proportionate to income: “We give ourselves exactly the same ‘spending money’ per month – the same with all our bills, mortgage and savings, with the higher earner paying more.
Lottie told ClearScore that it’s really important for her and her partner to be transparent with their money: “We have conversations about money all the time and track all our finances in a GoogleSheet with both our incomes, and whenever anything changes, we change it there to help us keep on top of things.
Lottie says she used to split everything 50/50 with her partner, but they eventually found it unfair: “When we split everything 50/50, it felt like we weren’t living within the same means as one of us was earning more, so we changed to splitting proportionately so we could live on an ‘equal’ playing field.”
ClearScore also spoke with Connor Harper, 28, who says that he and his partner split bills 50/50 despite her earning more: “I earn less than my partner, but I think we should still split things 50/50.
“However, my partner thinks this unfair and argues that because she earns more, she should pay more (proportionate to our pay).
“My counter to this is that she shouldn’t pay more than me just because she earns more – I shouldn’t be financially burdening her because she has a better paying occupation.
When it comes to discussing finances with his partner, Connor says they talk about it often and that “it’s not a taboo subject”.
Jasmine Granton, 30, who works freelance in PR at Chalkboard Creative and says that she and her partner have always split finances 50/50: “We have a joint card that we add an amount to each month for shopping, essentials, pub trips, and then we both have our own accounts too.”
Jasmine says splitting finances can be challenging because her and her partner are both self-employed: “There’s always a risk we could have a ‘bad’ month and I’ve always had a very bad relationship with money which causes me a lot of anxiety but I’ve always loved that we do 50/50.”
Jasmine explains that her and partner sharing finances equally does have its gives and takes though: “We’ve been together for 13 years, and there’s been times where one of us is better paid than the other, so we’ve always supported each other but it’s always come back and balanced out in the end.
“As a couple, I think it’s important to be equal, but as a woman I will always ensure I have my own money for security and peace of mind.
