It looks like there are quite a lot of advisers out there who could trade in their platforms and go straight into competition with Andrew Motion. What a talented lot you all are.
Okay, here’s the latest instalment. Very many thanks to all the readers who’ve been sending in their poetic odes. Do keep them coming, either as an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or via the Twitter hashtag #ifapoetryplease.
And for those who missed the first call to arms, here it is
Our first poem comes from Linda Illingworth of Angell Mallinder. We feel your pain, Linda….
Oh woe is me says the IFA
When ARE we going to get our say
The FCA dictates to all
Whilst some of us begin to fall
Keep to the rules, our rules, they say
We’re used to getting our own way
So we bite our tongues and carry on
Looks like the FCA have won
And, on a more serious note, from Julie Wilson of Penlife Associates:
What Else Is For Life, Not Just For Christmas?
You deal with life – the highs and lows, the laughs, the not-so-funny
You really don’t have time to think of how to deal with money
You work, you play, you pay the bills, but do you stop to think?
If illness stopped you in your tracks and took you to the brink
You need a house. You don’t have funds. A mortgage?. But which one?
Capped or fixed? Repayment term? It’s easy to get wrong.
And what of savings? Which is best? ISA, Bond or Pension?
How can you put some funds away with cash too tight to mention?
How would you pay the mortgage, feed the kids and pay the bills
Is your insurance all in place? And have you made your Wills?
‘Cos life is passing by you as you work out what to do
Who knows what’s round the corner or what’s next in store for you
Are your savings mounting up – accumulating wealth?
Or are they going down the pan? (The Tax Man takes by stealth)
Do you use your tax breaks? Are your savings all worked out?
Or are you like the rest of ‘em, just floundering about?
You think you’re sorted? Great – You’ve got a Halifax Cash ISA
Tax free is all well and good. High interest would be nicer
And as for pensions – do you know how much you’re going to get
Hoping for a lottery win? I wouldn’t like to bet
What of the future? Late in life – you’ll stop work, take it easy
The thought of being stoney is enough to make you queasy?
And just suppose you’ve got through life. You’ve got a bit to spare
Don’t let it all go down the drain in funding long term care.
Oh, what to do? Is there a way your choices could be wiser?
You could decide to get control with help from an adviser
Will you finally get a grip and sort financial strife
Advisers aren’t for Christmas. Advisers are for life.
And finally, another from yours truly:
They seek him here, they seek him there
They seek Mark Carney everywhere.
A rate rise this year? Maybe next?
No wonder that we’re so perplexed.
This Forward Guidance, for a start
Is this your head that talks, or heart?
When you say unemployment’s down
Is that a cause to laugh, or frown?
Because this economic dash,
We know, will hasten pricier cash
So Governor, please forgive my oath
It’s tricky stuff, this faster growth…