Modern day life, modern day needs
While I agree that Maslow has served us beautifully for decades, we now need a new guide. So, before we dive in to the key four (there are six in total – but we will focus on four), I’d just like to state the obvious: it doesn’t matter if you are relating these needs to yourself, a member of your ‘team’, a friend or family member, or one of your clients – it is helpful to keep an eye on which needs are playing out for the people around us.
Why? Well, because it helps us to help them direct their emotions while also helping us adjust how we react to how they are reacting.
- Certainty
We all crave a level of certainty in ourselves, our surroundings, our relationships and our structures. With it we feel safe, calm, at ease, supported and – dare I say it – ‘happy’ because with certainty we are able to leverage and springboard to achieving a more extraordinary life. When people are having a tricky time – and let’s be honest we have all been through the mill a bit over the last 18 months – it is almost always caused by a lack of certainty in their lives. When certainty is absent, it can result in us feeling unsure of ourselves, being withdrawn, lacking focus and struggling with indecision.
So just check in… are you living a life which has the right level of certainty for you? If you’re not sure – take some time to jot down a list of all the things that you feel you NEED right now to give you certainty in your life. You may be surprised by what you write!
- Uncertainty
Uncertainty?? How can that be number two?!!
Well, we know that variety is the spice of life, and we all crave a level of excitement and uncertainty in our lives. It keeps us alert, and it helps us feel like life is not just the same, day in, day out. Uncertainty and risk however are very closely linked. As our need for excitement and variety increases, it is likely that risk and the need for reward increase too.
So, let me ask: how much uncertainty do you need in your life right now and how is that showing up in the different aspects of your life? Actually, let’s ask: how could that show up in your work and in the delivery of your role? At the micro level, how regularly do you stick to a process fully, or do you find yourself going off piste, just because ‘I wonder if… ’? In many situations, needing and living with a level of uncertainty is good for us but not when the balance tips too far. Again, why not write down a list of all the things that you feel you NEED right now to give you uncertainty in your life.
In the context of our teams and our relationships with others and ourselves – when both certainty and uncertainty are present, true engagement starts to form.
- The ego show
Now let’s level this up. Significance, ego, recognition, praise, achievement – whatever you call it, it’s well up in the ranks of importance for many in our sector. Why? Well, think about the back story. The sector recognised planners and advisers who hit the goals, smashed through sales targets, achieved company KPIs, etc., etc., etc.. The need for significance was and I would say is currently one of the biggest drivers for the sector and those within it and – while I know we all have this need at some level – maybe the level we have been craving has got slightly out of hand. And worse still, we are now passing down this need for significance to our next generation of planners and firms. This scares me.
Why? Because no one wins when ego and self-gratification are running the show. The right level of significance is good for us. It’s a need but we need to recognise how that is playing out for us. Is it serving us positively or negatively? What is the need for significance doing to you as a person? Do you like what you see?
You only have to look at the need for professional designations and awards, the race to get the top of the range Tesla or to publish the next best-selling book. Whereas in the past we just had conventions and internal meetings for shouting about our achievements, now we have the wonderful world of ‘social media’… and, oh my goodness, we are well and truly riding that train.
- Connection
Yes, you got it… it’s time to get all loved up! We all need a level of love and connection in our lives and – as with all of these areas of need – our level of need increases and decreases as our life changes.
Needing love and connection requires a level of vulnerability that many of us feel very uncomfortable with… and I get it but, with love and connection, comes a level of honesty and authenticity. So let me ask you – if connection and love are a core need, how does that need show up in your life, in your work, with your team, in your relationships…? What is your level of expectations of others? How do they stack up against those expectations?
Maybe our needs have changed in 10 years, maybe they haven’t. This is all so very important because, as you know and are probably experiencing in some way yourself, modern day living is complex; individuals from all walks of life are dealing with challenges that never even existed 10 years ago.
So the question is: do you have the skills that you need in order to support those around you with the everyday challenges they are facing?
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but if we first focus on the art of listening then I think this will go a very long way in putting us in a wonderful position to add value in the most important way.
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